But first, so much to say about our beautiful, new baby boy:
CASE ELIJAH BIRDSEYE
I am so connected to you and really got to bond with you. I had the priceless gift of having Daddy home with us for the first 2 months of your life. That was such a special time, not only as a family, but in allowing me to bond with you since your big brother requires so much attention on his own. (If I had been home alone with the two of you when you were a newborn, A.) I think I would have lost my mind with the hormones and all that is required of caring for 2 babies at once! (just being honest!!) and B.) I know for certain that I would not have gotten to bond with you the way I was able to with having Daddy home. We napped together (and still do!) and I was able to just sit and hold you and love on you. I know all the details of your sweet face from hours of getting to stare at you.
At night we slept you in a bassinet in our room those first two months and usually I would sleep you in the bassinet for the first stretch of sleep at night, but then after either the 2nd or 3rd feeding in the night, instead of putting you back in the bassinet, I would lay you on my chest and sleep in bed together like that.
This 2nd time around of having a baby, and I am so much more aware of each minute of each day that passes and you are getting bigger and older. Everyone keeps telling me that the babyhood of the 2nd child passes that much quicker than the first, and I can see that, but honestly, for me, I am really soaking you up and taking every opportunity (like that - sleeping you on my chest), that I can in these fleeting moments of babyhood. I really feel like I am not letting your babyhood pass me by and it doesn't feel like it is slipping away. I am enjoying every moment. You still fit snuggly in my arms and I love that and I'm going to snuggle you as long as you will let me. I realize that soon enough I will have to set some boundaries if I ever want you to put yourself to sleep and be an independent child, but ultimately, what is more important?! You are my baby and I will never NEVER get these days back, and one thing I know for sure, how could I EVER regret loving on you as much as possible. Surely there is nothing I would relish more in my lifetime.
Let me back track and tell of your Birth Day before I forget any more of those details!
You were a scheduled C-Section. Since your brother was a C-section, much thought went in to how you would come in to this world. At first, I only wanted to try to have you naturally. My doctor said (early on) that if everything was right and I was healthy (no high blood pressure) and it all looked good, he would let me try. However, he said that he would not let me go past 40 weeks pregnant. After that day, he would want to do a c-sec to get you out (because then you would just get bigger and harder to get out every day after that). After having the first c-section, he does not induce for natural labor because the drugs used to induce could cause my scar from Isaac's c-section to burst which would cause the baby and possibly the mother to die! So the only hope for a natural birth was that you would come on your own before 40 weeks. So then as my pregnancy went on, the doctor said that a 2nd c-section is much safer because it is controlled, and my scar would not spontaneously rupture (causing your death!), and it is not likely that I would go in to labor naturally, on my own, before 40 weeks. (you were trucking along inside of me, growing and getting very big!) So it just felt like my only realistic option was a repeat c-section. I never would have thought that I would A.) have 2 children and B.) that they would both be a c-section!
So the first day that he is able to schedule a c-section is the first day of my 39th week, which fell on Saturday, November 3rd. (at first I really wanted you to come on Nov. 1st so that you and your brother would share the 1st as a birthdate, but he was not able to do that!) Everyone I told your date to was amazed that a doctor would schedule a c-sec for a Saturday, typically they only happen on week days. But my doctor said he is on-call anyways that day, so he had no problem getting you on a Saturday. He really is a great doctor and works so much, and so hard. We love him!
So Friday night, Nov 2nd:
I had many, many photo orders left to complete. (Just like before Isaac was born.) I had been working like crazy all week trying to not only prepare for your arrival (finish your room!), but also get as much photo work done as possible. This night we finally finished your room! We had a heck of a time figuring out a crib for you. We first had one from your Uncle Aaron, but it did not work out for many reasons, then I searched online for an affordable one, but then, as an answered prayer, one of Daddy's co-workers had a crib to sell that happened to match your furniture perfectly! So earlier that week that person brought it over and Daddy put it together. (Isaac's room was finished two months before he arrived!!) So those last few days before your arrival I was putting your clothes away (Grandpa had to finish touching up your dressers before I could put your clothes away), and I put your bedding on your crib. The night before you came we just had to hang things on the wall. Meme made your fabric letters of your name. We hung those up, and hung up a picture on the wall, and with only a few hours to spare until your arrival, we finished your room! I also had to order 3 canvases for clients that night. They needed to arrive ASAP, so I could not wait until after your birth to order them. So I was up late editing those pictures and getting those ordered.
Meme and Grandpa spent the night that night. They played with Isaac and Daddy and Grampa figured out our pull-out couch for them to sleep on. (we bought a pull-out couch when we moved in here since we do not have a guest room, but Daddy could not figure out how to get the mattress out, but they did get it worked out!)
Since they were there to watch Isaac, Daddy and I went out for dinner to On the Border in Denton, as our last night out for a long time! After dinner, we went to Walmart to get a few things for the next day, (a big camera storage SD card for our camera!)... I stayed in the car while Daddy ran in and got the things... I think because I was so big and tired, I didn't have the energy to walk around the huge store!
I still had to pack my hospital bags. So I believe with getting my work in order and details ready for you to come, I was up until 2 or 3 am. Then Daddy and I got up very early the next morning (5-something?), because I wanted to shower and curl my hair, and I still had to pack my hospital bag! We had to check in to the hospital at 7am. Your surgery was scheduled for 9am, and they wanted me there 2 hours early for paperwork, and bloodwork, and to get me all prepped.
November 3rd:
That morning we were running late with me getting everything ready. Meme and Grandpa took care of Isaac and got him fed and dressed and after I packed and got myself ready (had to curl my hair!!), Daddy and I were out the door. We got to the hospital around 7:20. (so 20 mins late, but that didn't matter).
We just had a bit of paperwork and it was surreal being back in that position so soon. We easily remember checking in for Isaac's birth. Walking in carrying our bags and pillows, and your baby bag.... knowing we weren't going to walk out until we had a baby in our arms! That is such a special, joyful feeling! They got me in my room and started to work on me. They had to give me an IV for fluids and medicine. The nurses have to ask about 50 questions of my medical and family history. Get me in my hospital gown and put a heartbeat monitor on my belly to keep track of your heart rate and also my contractions. (Have to wear a stretchy band of fabric around my stomach to hold those monitors in place.)
As they were doing all that, Birdie arrived! She just hung out in our room. Then our photographer arrived. We wanted to capture your birth, just like we had for Isaac. That was so special to have someone there to document those first moments, and not have to have Daddy worry about fumbling with a camera. He can just enjoy those first moments with you!
With Isaac, since he was a C-section, the main photography that took place was in the nursery during his bath. The photographer is not allowed in the operating room. So that is why we brought her back for you, because I love those pics of Isaac getting his first bath.
So she arrived for you and the nursery said that she could not go in there with you, that it was only for nurses! That was upsetting because that was the only reason we hired her! They said she could stand outside the window, through the blinds(!), and take pics! Not the same at all! We really didn't press the subject all that much. The photographer talked with the nurses a little bit. We questioned why you couldn't be bathed in my recovery room (because that would be my dream, to get to see your bath in person, since I couldn't with Isaac), and they said because there was not a warmer in there, (as if they could not just wheel one in!) But the nurses did understand obviously it was special that we hired a professional photographer, and they wanted to work with us, so they eventually caved and said she could go in the nursery, as long as we didn't tell anyone! The nurse was serious! She said she could potentially get in trouble. But she said since it was a Saturday morning and there were no babies in there, it would not be hard for them. She said during the weekdays, they are more crowded and busier.
So that got worked out!
Then Dr. Noble came in to say hi, he was running late. I think it was after 9am by the time he came in and said that he is going to start prepping for the surgery.
By then, Meme and Grandpa and Isaac had arrived to my room. The photographer took pics of us hanging out and waiting. Then it was time to start seriously prepping me so all of the family left my room. (Isaac was the star of the show, being cute in our room!)
The photographer waited outside my room to take one last pic of me and Daddy before I headed in to the operating room.
With Isaac's surgery, I do not remember as much humiliation as this time around. Maybe because I already had my epidural with him by that point and it was late at night.
But so they put me on the table and hunch me over and give me the epidural. Not so bad.
Then they lay me on the table, and just put me on display! It was horrible! They just move me around like a rag doll and have me naked and in these yoga positions giving me no dignity! What can I do?!
I just remember feeling way too ... spread!
Then the doctor comes in and I think he had already started (just begun) the operation when they brought Daddy in. Daddy just held my hand (my arms were spread wide open on either side of me). This time seemed to take a LOT longer than Isaac's birth. In the beginning there was not much movement, light tugging and pulling. There was a clicking sound that I think they use a laser to cut me open. I think I was hearing the laser in use. There was a stinky smell! After a few minutes (maybe 4-5?) there was some heavy tugging now. I knew and had heard that it can feel like I can't breathe, but that I really can, and to keep breathing. And it totally felt that way! Like someone was sitting on my chest. I remember trying to breath and it was like I was gasping for air. I tried talking and it was seriously like someone was pushing on my chest, making me only able to have words come out in a whisper. The doctor was really tugging. It was taking forever! They brought the laser back out and used it some more. (The nurse later told me that the doctor did end up having to go back and cut me a 2nd time bigger than my previous scar from Isaac to get you out, you were bigger and needed a bigger opening!) By this point, I don't know for sure, but it was at least 10 minutes of cutting and tugging and pulling. I felt like I was jostled around! My body would move around as the doctor was tugging on you! (pretty violent!) And eventually, I heard "It's a boy!!"!!! At that point Daddy stood up to take your picture. We had done this with Isaac and I love that picture, of him just seconds from my womb. So Daddy stood up and held up the camera and then quickly sat back down. He said I think I'm going to pass out! He was sitting on a backless stool. They take that seriously because he could fall back and hurt his head! So they immediately had him sit on the floor and put his head between his knees. I thought he was going to pass out from the sight of blood, but he said it was from wearing the surgical mask for so long and just not having fresh air. He felt light headed. So he was on the floor when they took you over to the warming table to clean you up. I was laying there waiting for the doctor to hold you up over the curtain before they took you so I could see you right away! They did that with Isaac - held him up when they first took him out and we got to see him for a few seconds before they cleaned him up. I loved that moment and was waiting for that with much anticipation. But HE NEVER DID! I heard you crying and I couldn't believe you were already across the room getting cleaned up (out of my vision.) I never saw you! I started crying! At first the tears came when I heard "It's a boy" and knew you were here, and then they really came as the minutes went on and they didn't show you to me! The nurse asked if I was okay and I said "I never saw him!" She said they were just cleaning you up and then they'd bring you over, but I had wanted that first moment when you were seconds old. :(
It was very sad for me to know you were in this world and I had NEVER seen you!
From the floor, Daddy got to watch you get cleaned up across the room. He said "Oh Julie, he's beautiful!"!! :)
The nurse offered Daddy some juice to help him regain his strength. :)
Soon Daddy felt better and he stood up and went over and started video taping them cleaning you up.
After a few minutes, they finally brought you over and handed you to Daddy, bundled up in a towel.
So my first thoughts were, 1.) you looked different from Isaac (yet still beautiful!), and 2.) that it was weird you were in a towel. I just pictured you in a baby blanket. and 3.) that you had red baby acne spots on your face.
Those were my first thoughts!
But it was so amazing to meet another baby, our baby, who was not Isaac! As the 2nd child, we had already had time raising Isaac, and we only knew Isaac as our child. So it was such a wild thought that we could have ANOTHER child in this world that would be different all on his own! You looked like your own little person. I've never thought you look like Isaac (I still don't at all!). Yet, differently, you were just as beautiful, all on your own. I really thought you were a pretty newborn. You were so cute!
I also noticed that your right ear was swollen and flapped down. It later healed up and looks totally normal, but you were SO SQUISHED in my womb, that even your tiny little ear was bent over in half and got swollen! I can't imagine being so squished that my ear is pressed hard against my head bent in half! Such a tiny part of your body, but you had no room left in me!
After some kisses, they soon took you away to the nursery to be bathed. They finished putting me back together and then took me to recovery. I just remember thinking how it seemed like it took SO LONG to get you out! But after that everything went by quickly! In recovery they gave me some morphine and ran some tests, hooked me up to monitors, etc. They put me under this "blanket" which was made of paper. It was two sided and was full of holes that was hooked up to a machine that blew in hot air! It was to keep me warm! So crazy and high tech!
They soon wheeled you in! You had had your bath and the nurse and Daddy brought you in. I thought that time passed by really quickly. Was thankful you weren't gone long!
The nurse said that she thought you were ready to nurse! That caught me by surprise. Like I'm already jumping back in to nursing! I just didn't think you'd be ready to eat so soon, and I think it was weird because it felt like not that long ago that I was nursing Isaac!
So Daddy was video taping you coming in, and then the nurse said that, and so I start to prepare to nurse you and Daddy kept the video running, so I remember thinking how do I make him stop taping so I can nurse you! I just gave him a look, which is now on our video! :)
The nurse helped you latch on and you did pretty well! It all came back to me and you really took to it on your own very quickly. You were a good eater from the start! We never really had any problems. In the days that followed in the hospital, I had another nurse help me with your latch, but you were nursing perfect by the time we went home 2 days later.
all family came in recovery room to see you
Really did not feel much pain in recovery. Got up quicker sooner than I did with Isaac. Seemed much easier 2nd time around.
*in post-op room, family came in to hold you. They watched you get a bath first from outside the nursery while taking care of Isaac.
after saw you in post-op room, they left and then I had you alone in my hospital room for a couple hours. Meme and Grampa and Daddy came back that afternoon/evening.
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